Music Mondays: Johnny Cash, A Boy Named Sue

Mr. Johnny Cash, The Man in Black, is one of the most influential musicians ever... period.  He's also the only person besides Hank Williams to have been inducted into the Songwriters, Country Music, and Rock And Roll Halls of Fame.  The song "A Boy Named Sue" was written by Shel Silverstein who also wrote the immensely popular children's books "A light in The Attic" and "Where The Sidewalk Ends".   The song hit #2 on the Billboard charts and relaxed there for several weeks.  Cash has so many hit songs there will undoubtedly be several more Music Mondays dedicated to the baritone baron.

Hello, I'm
.Stinky Britches.

The Dude Abides

The best fucking movie of all time, The Big Lebowski!!!  A 117 minute long orgasm of cinematic bliss.  Then again any movie that utilizes the word "Fuck" a whopping 260 times is destined for greatness.  For you math nerds that averages to about 2.22 "Fucks" per minute... Not too shabby.  It's Friday and I thought I would end the week with something special (and I didn't feel like writing that much).  Get your ass to a bowling alley and order about 10 White Russians from the bartender.   Or sit at home, put the dvd in and press play (I assume you already own this splendid film).  Then make up a huge batch of White Russians and see if you can last taking a sip every time they say "dude" or 'fuck".  My money says you end up vomiting White Russians 30 minutes into the movie.

Shut the fuck up Donny!!!  The rug really tied the room together. I can get you a fuckin' toe!  They're going to kill that poor woman.  Nice marmot.  The beaver picture.  You mean coitus?  Over the line!!! No body fucks with da Jesus! Eight year olds dude.

.Stinky Britches.

My School Is Better Than Your School.

I'm all for learning, because everyone knows knowledge is power!!! Unfortunately school is boring, really fucking boring!  Mainly because the buildings and structures of our institutionalized learning facilities are horrid, putrid, maladies, of architectural excrement.  I'm speaking mainly about our nation's public school system, which seems to be meticulously designed to extract every essence of creativity from our youth's brains and replace them with Ritalin soaked drones whose only goal is to conform to predestined cookie cutter curriculum.  

Whew!  Happy to get that off my chest.  I don't know much regarding the state of our country's private schools, however I do know that private aka for profit schools are businesses, businesses that make money.  I also know that money creates opportunities and can conjure major benefits in several instances.  Since we are talking about schools and the buildings that house our youth, get a whiff of this fresh out of the oven Funfetti of a private school in Carlsbad, CA.  Pacific Ridge, a $7.5 million college prep school is not only alluring to the eye but also to the environment.  Currently the school is up for LEED Gold certification (You Eco-nerds know what I'm talking about, if you don't then hit the link and expand your knowledge).  Gander at the pics and just imagine how green the drought resistant grass is on the other side.

 
Saved By The Bell,
.Stinky Britches.

Poppin' Bottles Like A Champ

Back in the day pop artist Andy Warhol was a regular at Studio 54 in New York.  Along with poppin disco biscuits and packin his beak with booger sugar Warhol was notorious for throwing down Dom Perignon.  So it's no surprise that the chic people at Dom P would colab with the Andy Warhol Foundation to design an extraordinary limited-edition bottle.  The Warholian collection, available Oct. 15th only in select wine shops consists of three bottles each with its own kitschy colored label.  Pop some tops but make sure you have the paper because at $150 a bottle I wouldn't waste a drop.  You can peep all the champagne your liver can handle at Dom P dot com.

Bottoms Up Bitches,
.Stinky Britches.

Ken Block Drives Better Than You

Ken Block, one of the founders of DC Shoes definitely drives better than you.  Check out this video of Mr. Block testing his driving skills in a some what modified Ford Fiesta...  Nice use of the E-brake! 

Yeah but can he parallel park?
.Stinky Britches.

Music Mondays: T.I. Ya Hear Me

T.I., aka Mr. Clifford Joseph Harris JR aka, The Jay Z of the South may be in between prison stints but he has still managed to pump out some damn fine joints.  "Ya Hear Me" is a personal favorite.  I hope this Music Monday gets you through the day with your head bobbin.

Rubberband Man,
.Stinky Britches.

MAKR My Deck

The uber low pro brand Makr that primarily specializes in ultra quality, limited edition handcrafted Bags, totes and wallets is making the fortuitous leap into skate hard-goods.  This custom handcrafted skate deck comes from the Makr studio in very limited numbers so good luck ever getting your grubby mitts on one.  Even though Makr says, "Please skate this, don't put this on your wall". I have a hard time fathoming that someone would slap trucks and grip on one of these bad boys and take it to the local mini ramp.  Notably because the deck is comprised of numbered leather risers, a hand stained bottom and takes several hours to construct.  In my opinion this deck is an integral addition for any home or office wall that wants to evade from the bland norm of drab art.

 Besos,
.Stinky Britches.

The Good Kind Of Danger

I'm here to get drunk!  The good kind of drunk, the kind of drunk that makes you better at everything especially talking up the ladies...  Meh, there probably isn't even enough booze in David Hasselhoff's liquor cabinet to make me better at that.  I do want you to get charmingly toasted.  So, the next time you're out on the town swooning broads, chasin' skirts or in every woman's case, being a full on CT to every dude that just wants to dance with you, put the fist pump on hold for just a minute and wrap your mitts around the tastiest of premium tequilas on the market, Peligroso.  Enjoy all three varieties: Silver, Reposado and Anejo.  I personally fancy my Peligroso out of the belly button of a 5'10, tan, blonde,  20 something, coed but I'm sure Peligroso tastes great out of a shot glass, on the rocks or even in an ice cold margarita.  I could decipher the ins and outs that make Peligroso Tequila so delish and unique but that's fucking boring...  Just take a peek at the bottle and imagine how good that will look in your bar, on your shelf, or tucked safely under your pillow.  Remember, a life without a little danger is like watching the same porn over and over.  At first it's great then it just gets boring and makes your wrist hurt.

Enjoy irresponsibly,
.Stinky Britches.

War Paint

Reyes is at it again, following his ridonkulously successful show "Misspelled" in San Fran.  The graffiti artists' latest showing will take him to the notorious Know Gallery in LA where his newest strokes of genius, "War Paint" can be seen Sept. 25th-Oct. 16th.  In his recent works Reyes has tunneled into and thoroughly examined typography.  Spend some time walking the streets of San Fran and along with some of the most fucking amazing people watching your retinas will ever capture you're also sure to see at least one mural that Reyes has generously added to the urban city scape.  The city has been blessed with an entire Reyes-alphabet strewn lovingly throughout neighborhoods and alleyways.

Everyone knows September is the most boring of all the months and I know you have no plans until Thanksgiving so you should probably get your rotund paunchy buns to LA and check out the show.

Abstractly Yours,
.Stinky Britches.


WAR PAINT: Victor Reyes from Dylan Maddux on Vimeo.

Music Almost Monday: Surfin' Bird...?

Apparently everyones heard about the bird...  This weeks music choice is Surfin Bird, I hope you savor the often covered slice of raw Americana.  Originally performed by The Trashmen circa 1963, the song went on to hit #4 on the Billboard Top 100.   Surfin' Bird was actually a mashup of two R&B songs by the Rivingtons.  There aren't many lyrics to the song but it will get stuck in your head for all eternity, soooo good luck with that.  

Papa oom mow mow,
.Stinky Britches.

Keepin' It Clean

  
   Since the bill calling for a ban on plastic bags got the shit axe in California's senate recently, educated, rational people are looking toward other avenues to improve the quality of their lives and the lives of people around them. Americans generate 10.5 million tons of plastic waste every year!!! Out of that only 2% is actually recycled; the rest ends up in our landfills, streets and most unfortunately our oceans causing lots of bad shitty things to happen to the cute animals that live there.  (Insert sad face here).
  
One great way to mitigate the hugemongous amounts of plastic being thrown away and littered is to wipe out the initial use of these plastics. Seeing as most state and local governments apparently flunked econ 101 back in high school and can't even seem to balance a budget it's imbecilic of us to think they could accomplish the task of removing plastic bags from our stores. So aside from using reusable bags when we go to the store what the feck else can someone do to cultivate a cleaner, greener, less toxic life. Another not so fantabulous fact: Americans use 2.5 million plastic bottles every HOUR! Shit that's a lot of bottles, roughly 60 million a day. Hmmm, what can we do to lower that number...? How about following the same logic that we used for plastic bags, go reusable? Not a new idea at all but a fresh new company is upping the ante with a bamboo wrapped glass bottle that is easily cleaned in the dish washer and can even be throw in the microwave. You tree huggin hippies can even drop in your wheatgrass poopy juice. Bamboo Bottle Co. is still getting the ball rolling on the production side of their biz but they look ready to start crankin out BPA-free vessels any day now. If you can't wait for these eco-chic environment savers to hit the shelves head to their website and get your name on the list to be one of the first Bamboo Bottle beneficiaries.


I should be getting paid for this,

.Stinky Britches.

hairstyle

hairstyle
hairstyle
hairstyle
hairstyle
hairstyle

Expletive Deleted

Mr. Cee Lo Green is at it again.  This time he ventures out on his lonesome in a new solo album tentatively titled "Cee Le Green Is The Lady Killer" due out this fall.  Cee Lo has been verbally demolishing hip hop for a while but he really romanced music lovers when he paired up with Danger Mouse and formed Gnarls Barkely.  His solo project promises to satiate even the most parched listeners.  Anyone who is familiar with Cee Lo's unique play on hip hop knows he hits his beats like a pinata filled with southern sweets.  If the above jam is anything like the entire album we are all in for a treat.  
Chop Chop Chop Chop,

.Stinky Britches.

Kris Aquino

Kris Aquino
Kris Aquino
Kris Aquino
Kris Aquino

Kris Aquino